So today I'm celebrating the fact that I have been at Amazon.com for 3 years. I don't know if celebrating is the right term for it, but, in certain ways, it surely feels like a celebration. Not because I'm getting RSUs today and Amazon share price is the highest it has been since I have joined, but because it's been 3 years.
The question that came to my mind was: am I closer to my ideal that I was seeking when I joined? I feel like I don't quite know how to answer this question. In many ways, yes. I have learned a lot in the last 3 years, and I'm still learning. This is the inwards-looking view of it. The outwards looking one, the one that looks at the organization that I'm working for, the company, and the world that this company serves, do I think that I'm closer to what I was expecting to get?
Without entering information that I wouldn't feel very comfortable in writing, I think the answer is "maybe". There are some signs of improvement. However, I feel like there are many more signs of loss on my part, of decisions that what I had in mind will never get done. It could probably mean that I've become more experienced and can tell what is feasible and what isn't; but it could also mean that I'm losing the dare to dream. I'm becoming engrossed the the operations of life.
Anyway, 3 years... Quite a chunk of my life here. Almost 7 years in the U.S.A. An even bigger chunk of my life.